Brand Spanking New: The HP

Five years, three hard drives, three power cables, two dead batteries, a dozen trips across an ocean, four boyfriends, three states, half a dozen countries, one MA, half a PhD, several drive reformats, and quite a bit of gaff tape (and money) later, my Dell has been retired.

It served me well, but my current job doesn’t really cater to a computer that shuts down every two hours or so for no reason and/or gives me the blue screen of death.

Lesson #282: Professional Bridge

Among other things, I learned today was what an episiotomy is.* With graphic visuals that I cannot unsee. I wish there were bleach for the brain.

I also learned that there is such a thing as professional bridge. As in the card game. Now, not only did I learn that this exists (from one of the documents I was working on), it turns out that my supervisor’s father made quite a lot of money playing bridge in college. I found this fascinating. So rather than asking him the slew of questioned I wanted answers to (is there a federation? are there tournaments in Vegas? are there sponsors and if there are, are they card companies? can you make a living playing professional bridge? how many people do this? is this an American thing or is it global?), I decided to wait until my work day had ended before checking this out.

The first thing I learned? In 2001, some guy was suspended for 18 months with five years of probation for dealing his partner specific cards. Seriously. Do you want to know my source? The New York Times. I could not make this up.

So the answer to the federation and locality questions are yes and worldwide. There’s a World Bridge Federation. There are also Canadian and US Bridge Federations. And a European Bridge League.

There are World Championships! They have tournaments all over the place. There’s some sort of movement to have bridge included at the Olympics.**

There don’t seem to be any official sponsors of the World Bridge Federation that I could find, but given how much of the fact checkers’ work I had to do today***, I’m a bit lazy on this. Which is also a bit because I don’t really care that┬ámuch.

So yeah…bridge. It’s a bigger game than you’d think.

*Guess who has never had kids?

**I’m sorry, but sitting around playing cards is not a sport. If you can simultaneously drink alcohol whilst competing in your “sport”, it’s not a sport. I’m not talking about like how I “go swimming” with my beer when I go hang out at my best friend’s because that’s actually just treading water and catching up. There is no physical way I could actually swim and drink my beer at the same time.

***I got a document today that said the client had worked for a time at a military hospital in Cairo. The fact checker who went over the document before it came to me highlighted that with a note that said “I couldn’t find any listed military hospitals in Cairo.” He couldn’t find them because he (like most of the fact checkers at my job) doesn’t know how to do research. If you google military hospital Cairo, the first results are the Wiki list of hospitals in Egypt, articles about Hosni Mubarak’s recent transfer to a hospital in Cairo and a medical journal article from 1915. If you know how to do research, that’s just a temporary problem. In under five minutes, I was able to come up with the name of three military hospitals in Cairo. The fact checkers at my job would make very poor academics.